Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why should we share our wife with others?

I actually pay taxes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

What should a young woman do to control sagging breasts?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Giannis Antetokounmpo to the Raptors? What a trade could look like as reported mutual interest exists - CBS Sports

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why do flat Earthers run away like whipped dogs with their tails between their legs when asked simple questions that expose their delusions as fantasy?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

How to watch Apple’s WWDC 2025 keynote - TechCrunch

I don’t buy bullshit

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Scientists Just Found the Oldest Barred Spiral Galaxy – And It’s a Monster - SciTechDaily

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Porsche Built A One-Off Street-Legal 963 Hypercar For 88-Year-Old Roger Penske - Jalopnik

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I see through liars

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

17 more Rite Aid stores to close in WA, including 4 Bartell Drugs - The Seattle Times

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why are white women so overly emotional?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Death threats to Astros pitcher Lance McCullers Jr. came from "overseas" resident - NBC Sports

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can read

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can count

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”